Of Wine, Women and Song: Wine!

There are some truly great wines produced in South Africa. At Le Canard we generally ask our diners what they would like, and we do make suggestions, but have found that many people have their personal preferences. The most requested are Meerlust Rubicon; Rupert & Rothschild; Kanonkop, Hamilton Russell Pinot Noir; Whole Berry Cabernet Sauvignon; Graham Beck Cabernet Sauvignon, and of the foreign red wines Châteauneuf-du-Pape.

By far the most popular champagne for celebrations is Moët & Chandon. Proves the power of advertising, doesn't it?

One should be adventurous about wine as well as food A great deal is written about wine, and it is worth reading and learning new ideas. "Platters South African Wine Guide" is concise and easy to understand. Wherever you may be, I am sure wine guides are available which are usually written by authorities.

I do find that individual wine farmers don't bother to recognize the importance of their Sales Representatives. An attentive, knowledgeable rep can gain sales by his/her personal presence. They in turn need to recognise the waiter/waitress selling their wine. Any rep walking into a restaurant, and I suppose the same applies to a large liquor outlet, should greet the people selling their products. Not many restaurants has a dedicated sommelier, and it is generally the waiting staff who are serving wines. Acknowledgement of them would increase sales. One South African wine rep I would award a gold medal to is Karyn Rutherford, Regional Sales Ambassador of Graham Beck wines, who has always been bright, cheerful and professional.

Talking of "recognition," I must relate the saga of an incident that took place some years ago. We held a dinner in conjunction with a particular Wine Farm. The owner, his wife, the wine maker and the sales manager flew up from the Cape to Johannesburg for the event. They arrived a short while before the guests. The sales manager greeted me, the farm owner nodded at me, but it turned into one of those moments that became frozen in time. As hostess to the party, I stood waiting to receive them. "Mrs Farm Owner" approached, and I was about to say "thank you for coming" and enthusiastically extended my hand. She looked disdainfully at me, walked straight past and made a beeline for the Maitre D' who was placing orders, and she beamed all over him.

My ego was so dashed that I didn't immediately realise my hand was still extended, awaiting to be accepted. Oh ignorant me! I imagined that, as the owner of Le Canard, I warranted at least slight recognition. Of course, I continued allowing the wine to be purchased by my Maitre D', but remained slightly bruised by the incident.

Freda

Of Wine, Women and Song: Women!

Through the years many really interesting women have dined at Le Canard. Walking down memory lane Adelaide Tambo comes to the forefront.  She was a wonderful human being who, I believe, was a major player in the "Walk to Freedom." She called me her "sister," and I thought likewise of her. I had the honour of having Oliver Tambo celebrate his last birthday with us. He was frail and somewhat tired, but a consummate gentleman.



Adelaide Tambo

Another very gracious and ever friendly lady is Zanele Mbeki, who is lovely smiling and caring. Brigitte Radebe is equally gracious, friendly and caring. She is always a fashion statement. Her feet are firmly on the ground, and one would not know that she is a most successful business woman, and the wife of a senior government minister.

Bridgette Radebe

 I had the pleasure of meeting her entire family. Her parents celebrated a wedding anniversary with us, a remarkable couple who provided all their children with university education, and who lived to see all of their offspring rise to the top of their fields. But this blog is about women, and I should make mention of South African portraitist Silma Keys, a talented artist and most thoughtful hostess.
 

Painting by Silma Keys

Then there is the charming Annabel Ravazotti, a lovely, always smiling individual after whom we named her favourite dessert "Annabel's Parfait" (Walnut Parfait).

When I think of all the women who visited Le Canard over the years, many, many more come to mind, but I must mention a very glamorous and "classy" Middle Eastern lady. She visited South Africa every four months for a fortnight to "take care of her investments." This ritual continued over a period of two years, and we never ascertained exactly what the "investments" were. She was a very disciplined woman, always dressed to the "nines." In winter she was covered in magnificent furs, and in summer time very uncovered in "minis" generally, with revealing slits and, of course, plunging necklines.

 

During what was to be her last visit, we did ascertain that she had been negotiating the purchase of a "strip joint." Our "informant" was her liveried chauffeur, who drove a shiny Rolls Royce with two passengers at the back - our "foreign" lady and her "body guard." While the chauffeur remained constant, the "body guard" changed at every visit she made, however, they all had one thing in common. They were young, gorgeous looking, well built men, usually blonde and occasionally darked haired. According to the chauffeur, they all had "amazing stamina."

The back of the Rolls Royce had a well stocked bar with Krug Champagne, a filled ice bucket, and crystal flutes. The boot of the vehicle had an ice chest packed with "Krug" and a box of flutes. According to the chauffeur, after dinner (always a three course meal during which "Krug" was copiously downed, and which we learnt to order supplies as soon as we got a reservation from the mentioned lady), she would bid us "good night" and then their good night started. The chauffeur was instructed to drive and drive no matter where, and he only stopped when commanded "more champs"! He would then stop the Rolls, open the boot, refill the bar, replace the flutes with fresh ones, and continue the 2-3 hour drive. His complaint was not having to drive endlessly, but to have to listen to the moans, groans, squeals of delight and instructions. All this information came out one night when I invited him to have coffee or something to eat. "No," he said, "nothing to eat, just coffee. I don't need to fill my stomach. I need to empty my chest!"

I am sure you think you have been reading fiction. I guarantee this is an absolutely true story!!

"Wine" to follow!

 

Freda

The Mysterious Blonde, Brunette & Black Haired Hostess on Call!



Following the incident related in my previous blog, I will continue this one with the "Day-after-the-Night before." Apparently when I had gone home the previous evening, those staff who had remained at Le Canard, got together for a nightcap and "brain stormed." Rashid, our Moroccan waiter, pressed the first button. "You know that woman looked the same as the one that was here with Mr. Y two weeks ago, but then her hair was brown, and she had a different kind of voice. He too gave us a big tip!" An excited discussion followed, and they concluded that Mr. Y's and Mr. Z's companion was one and the same.

                       

A short while before this episode, Mr. X, a CEO of a large company, who was a frequent guest of ours for years before he became a CEO and before I had Le Canard, was very friendly with a young woman I knew. They fell in love and duly married. The years flew by and, as happens sometimes, they fell out of love and parted ways.

So when Mr. X phoned and said that he had to have a dinner party for valued clients, and could he have a private room and special attention, I naturally agreed. However, I was somewhat surprised when he continued the conversation adding that as I knew he was now divorced, he had invited a dear and old friend of his to host his dinner party. "Surely" said I.

Mr. X arrived and proudly ushered forward a beautiful black haired young lady. She made a wonderful hostess. The "valued clients" not only enjoyed the evening, they envied their host . She had charmed them, was discreetly attentive to all, and had a calming soft sultry accent. The evening proved to be the most succesfull, and Mr. X was more than generous to the attentive staff.

When I heard the conclusion that Rashid and companions had come to, I nonchalantly declared "Oh! So Mr. Z and Mr. Y had the same partner. Remember the dinner ± two weeks ago for Mr. X, wasn't his hostess....." I never finished the sentence, since the "Hallelujah Chorus" unanimously exlaimed something close to.....

"She ain't a Call Girl, she's a Hostess on Call!"

An actress and make over artist, as well! I wonder what else she's good at?

Freda

 

A Damsel in Distress......or.....?





Before relocating some time ago, the sales manager of a large international company entertained many of his business guests at Le Canard. Let's call him Mr. Z. One morning he phoned and asked to speak to me, asking if he could have a "special" guest table for two for dinner as he was entertaining a lovely young lady. "Of course, for you anything." He arrived with a divine young woman, and was shown to a discreet table. I should add that we strewed rose petals over the table cloth to set a romantic atmosphere.

During the latter part of the evening I was sitting talking to two guests, when the Maitre D' came to excuse himself, and asked me to go to the ladies' lavatory. "Why?" "There seems to be a problem." I rushed off and hadn't got to the door, when I heard a series of, should I say, "groans." "Bring lemon water! Quickly!!" I said. Now, what you can't cure with a stiff whisky, you can with lemon water. Before the water arrived, Mr. Z walked out of the ladies' lavatory as dapper as ever, but with a broader grin than usual. I was obviously "shell shocked" because I continued to investigate the damsel in distress. She was applying lipstick, straightening her hair and her mini skirt.

I obviously had two satisfied guests and two curious ones. The people to whom I had been speaking earlier have seen a tall male return to his table, who was then followed by an attractive female. An explanation was required, and these two departed very soon after the elucidation with an air of anticipation on both their faces.

Mr. Z and his companion were served dessert and shortly thereafter they singly returned to the ladies' lavatory. At this stage the restaurant had very few tables still occupied, and the waiters were "hived" up to the "toilet activities." The sounds from the occupants of the lavatory were slightly mufled by the buzzing waiters, and one....two....the now doubly satisfied diners left. What more could I have asked for?

1. Mr. Z and his companion highly satisfied by the "service";
2. My waiters equally satisfied by the generous gratuity; and
3. I remained hoping the two guests who were privy to the first half of this episode, have gone to sleep equally satisfied.

The evening had not ended yet. The Maitre D' asked me to come into the "love nest" with him. He suggested that I rub my flat palm over the top of the toilet cistern, and yes it was covered with remnants of white powder. Seeing all this happened in "pre-viagra" days, it proved "coke" may have provided the same attributes.

Freda

 
"A Virile Z"
 

Of Natural Nobility and True Monarchy

In my last blog I spoke of Sonia Gandhi, a most charming and engaging lady who was highly respected by her colleagues as well as by all of my staff. She showed friendliness and attention to everyone.

Another wonderful, gracious and thoughtful woman was Dame Jane Goodall, the "Chimp Lady." She brought her "companion chimp" with. I had heard that she travelled with him everywhere. To welcome her and her "companion," I set a place at the table for him. He had a cushion placed on his chair to allow him to be seen by all seated, and each course that was served had one that was specially made for him, albeit it nuts and leaves or bananas and berries. Dame Goodall was highly delighted, and displayed an amazing sense of humour. Her hosts were equally gratified at the reception we had given her, and her sincere appreciation of the trouble we had gone to. To show their own appreciation they doubled the useful amount they were offering to her fundraising effort. You probably guessed her companion was a stuffed toy chimp!

Over the past twenty odd years I have had many men and women come to Le Canard. Some remain indelibly set in my mind. I think the most impressive of all are those who retain their graciousness over and above their sense of importance. Certainly Her Royal Highness Princess Benedikte Ingrid of Denmark was a shining example of gentility and charm.

Another very charming, carefree and delightful woman who visited Le Canard, was Academy Award winning actress Marlee Matlin. She handled her hearing disability with cheer and smiles. She was so taken with the tablecloth on her table, which had been embroidered with ducks, that I had the plates removed, folded the cloth stains and all, and handed it to her as a gift. She couldn't have been more pleased when she was handed her Oscar.

I must here make my position clear on "naming and shaming." Criminals who don't abide by the law should be "named and shamed," but I prefer "naming" the good and gracious. I don't confuse disrespect for lawbreakers with social ineptitude!

Freda

A Great Dame & a Cantankerous Madam!!



Somebody suggested that I "name and shame" diners who through the years have been bothersome, painful or generally rude. I don't like the idea at all, since people do not usually behave that way. The few "strays" who do, I certainly wouldn't name. I think one of the essentials of being associated with a restaurant is discretion.

However, I clearly remember the night that Mrs Sonia Gandhi, three of her cabinet ministers, members of the South African government, and a number of local dignitaries came for dinner. The security was what is known as "tight," and a number of well dressed security agents from India, as well as top South African government security guards, accompanied them. I was very specifically requested to make sure that the two exit doors in the restaurant remain open throughout the evening, and I clearly understood the need for this cautionary measure.

The same evening a seriously important and greatly respected business executive, who frequented the restaurant, had booked a small table for members of his family and himself. We usually seated them at a particular table, however that night we had large parties and couldn't give them their "usual." My head waiter at the time thought the executive's wife was "put out," and that she had had her "status" lowered.

The VIPs were served their first course, when the head waiter, perspiring profusely, entered my kitchen to inform me that "Mrs Executive" said she was cold and wanted the doors closed. The weather that day was very slightly coolish. I told him "well, put a stopper at the door, but leave it ajar and explain to her the complexity of the situation." A few minutes went by and he returned exclaiming "She won't listen, she insists, help!" I responded "well, I'm busy cooking. So please go calm her." Back he came saying "She insists, and wants to see you immediately."

I know I am an extremely good chef. I also know that I am extremely impatient, and I have never claimed the quality of being a "people's person." So don't order me to leave an extremely busy kitchen to attend to a petty annoyance, which should have been sorted out by the Head Waiter. Reluctantly I instructed a chef to attend to what I had been doing, and left the kitchen to calm the storm.

I barely got to the table when I was told by the now hysterical woman "I want the door closed. I'm cold." I tactfully told her that this was not possible as it was a security risk to a party of VVIPS, but I could offer her a pashmino, put a heater next to her, or offer her my cure to most difficult situations.....a stiff whisky! She responded "Don't be stupid, and who is more important than me!" I would have loved to say "I suppose your husband who provides for the position you now occupy".....but I didn't! Instead I suppose I looked a little dumbfounded! She continued "Well, who are these people? I insist on being told." I then addressed her husband asking him if he was having a private party, whether he would appreciate me announcing to every inquisitive guest who the party consisted of. I received no answer, and wondered if he was henpecked. I had no other recourse but to say that I was sorry. However, as I left the table she pushed her chair aside and went to bang the door close. "I'll close it myself" she shouted, as she tried to peek into the room occupied by the people thought to be more important than herself.

Obviously I reopened the door, to which she responded "We're leaving! I am not freezing for anybody's benefit." Her husband and family dutifully followed, however not before her newly married son stopped to tell me I was a "ridiculous old fool." He is a lovely human being, and I wouldn't want to "name and shame" her. I don't like the idea and he would'nt deserve it.

Freda

Of Platters & Pomposity



About a year after we first opened Le Canard, we had two ladies consulting us on a possible function. One was considerably older than the other, but both were dressed to the nines, and, to put it politely, they had their noses somewhat in the air. They entered, looked around a little disdainfully, and queried "Who do we speak to about a reservation?" I asked "Can I possibly help you?" At that stage I was a little frightened  to let them loose with Hans Frieser, our Maitre d', since he might have been inclined to tell them they looked like flowers, and, when they beamed at him, would have said "Cauliflowers"which came to mind when I looked at them!

It transpired that their husbands, and I presume they themselves, were members of what was then the prestigeous global institution called the "Young Presidents' Organization" (YPO), and they wanted to book a dinner for their next presentation. They asked me whether I understood that this was "a very, very, very upmarket organisation" and that they wanted only the best. The older of the two ladies did most of the talking, and the younger one appeared slightly intimidated. I was told their names, which I won't mention here, since I am sure they are still floating around somewhere on another planet!  They certainly were "floating" in the restaurant!

Anyway, I sat them down, and Hans came to offer the ladies something to drink, then promptly disappeared after serving it. I asked what their needs were, and they stressed that it had to be very "upmarket" and very special, and that I had to cater to the tastes of the YPO members. Realising the kind of people they were, I suggested that possibly a smoked salmon starter would be the best thing, and, since we were already specialising in duck, I recommended the choice of duck and grilled sole as a main course. They looked at each other and then at me, and since I was at the time relatively unscathed by nature, I smiled charmingly and said that it would be nice to hear from them, but that it was obviously their choice as to where they would like to hold their YPO dinner.

In due course I received a phone call from the younger of the two ladies, who was obviously the "lady-in-waiting." She said that her partner-in-crime thought that we would be "adequate," and so I decided that we would attempt to be more than "adequate"! We placed them in our private room, which can be closed off so that nobody can listen in to conversations, and I had arranged the most beautiful flowers and thought everything was 100%. However, the first calamity we encountered involved a lovely young waitress named Edna, who was a final year medical student. One of the other staff came to me and said that Edna was sitting crying in the lavatory. I went to see what the problem was and she exclaimed "I can't stand this any more! I can't stand it!" I asked "Sweetheart, what can't you stand?" She replied "That woman at that table in that room is busy picking flowers out of the vase and throwing them on the floor, and when she throws them on the floor she expects me to pick them up, and I don't know where to put them because they're beautiful flowers, and I just don't know what she means....!" So I said "well, I'll go and find out what the problem is."

So I went to the private room and said to the lady "It would appear you do not like the decorations we put on your table," and she retorted "I simply can't stand these flowers. They stink! Do you understand me? They stink!" Now that was an aromatic arrangement of roses and tuberoses, and it was the latter flower she was throwing on the floor. So I said "Let's take it off your table" and she responded "Wonderful idea!" I went back to the lavatory and said to the distressed waitress "Edna, fine, we have removed the stinking tuberoses!" Her tears turned to laughter, and we both fell about laughing about the lady who did not like the perfume of tuberoses.

That was the first problem of the day. The second arose that evening when we proceeded to serve the YPO's. There were four tables with ten people at each table. Hans, my Maitre d' at the time, had chosen to serve the table nearest the door first. He was possibly thinking those seated nearest the door might be the most important. We never found out why, but he served that table first. As the waiters concluded putting down the tenth dish, a gentleman at one of the other tables came charging out. He dashed straight passed Hans, and came to me exclaiming "I wont' have this! I definitely will not have this!"

Incidentally, the "Young Presidents" became the CEOs of large, influential companies, hence the said gentleman will remain unnamed since he is still floating around Johannesburg as a "big shot"! At the time I responded to him saying "I'm so sorry, but what is your problem?" Pointing at the table which had been served, he said "They've got their food and they're eating, and I haven't got my food yet!" Up popped Hans the Maitre d' who interjected saying "Well sir, you must know there is allways the first and the last!" And what did my dear Hans do? He made sure that this gentleman's table was served the last.

That was my second problem of the day. Nevertheless, everybody seemed to have had a good time. They enjoyed their food. One or two wanted more smoked salmon, and, by the nature of the people that were present, I put on an enormously generous portion of salmon. When they asked for more I told the Maitre d' "Hans be a good child, just go and give them more," and everybody seemed to have approved the food and the service they were given. So that function ended perfectly.

A while later I got the booking for the next YPO dinner, so I was now really concerned! In the interim between the first function and the booking for the second, I said to Hans "there is no way that will ever happen to me again! I will never again use tuberoses. Maybe they are beautifully perfumed for you and me and for millions of others, but maybe we'll find the odd sod who doesn't like perfumed flowers." Hans replied "You won't put on silk flowers, and you won't put on artificial flowers," and I responded "Definitely not! We'll have to think of unperfumed flowers," which we subsequently supplied to many, many dinners thereafter. I also added "Hans the other thing that will never happen again, is a mister so-and-so jumping up and down saying 'they were served before me!' I will make sure that everyone of these YPO's is served at the same time." Hans with his formal training at his Berlin butler school, and all his past experience at the Carlton Hotel in Johannesburg, said "There is no way you can do that. There will always be a first, and there will always be a last." I said "I'm going to work out a plan, and they will all eat together."

That, dear readers, is how I came to have platters. The pomposity one can understand, and we had lots of that at the previous function.....the lady who chose to throw flowers on the floor, when the simplest thing would have been to say to the young waitress "Please would you mind removing these. They're giving me hay fever." The gentleman who hadn't yet been served could have waited his turn. Surely he hadn't anticipated his wonderful dinner so much that he didn't have lunch? So I had to devise a plan. I had previously seen in Chinese restaurants what are called "Lazy Susans," and I purchased four of those. I also found dishes that would fit on a "Lazy Susan," on which I placed around eight different items of food. As expected there were, amongst others, lots of salmon. I also had enough waiters. I had to first put the "Lady Susans" on the tables with "unperfumed" flowers, then I had two waiters per table putting down two dishes per table simultaneously. I had rehearsed this with the waiters prior to the YPO dinner, and hence had the waiters simultaneously putting down two dishes at a time on each table until the "Lady Susans" were filled. The last item placed was the centre piece, which was an enormous arrangement of salad and a crown of prawns. So they were all served together and mister "so-and-so" who was there for the second YPO dinner, couldn't "jump up" from his chair to complain about being served last, and I must add, neither did he "jump up" to say "thank you." That is how we at Le Canard learned of "pomposity," and I learned of "platters" for which we have subsequently become very well known. We never call them "Lady Susans".....God forbid! We call them "Platters"!

Freda